Almost through the first Christmas

And it started out pretty good. The kids were very excited with their few gifts. Soon, I'll start dinner.

I found one of A.J.'s older comforters. It needs a bit of reparation. So, since Arielle's napping and Alan and A.J. went to return movies and get a few more, I decided to get the sewing machine and do the few stitches required to keep the stuffing in. Well, I should have decided to do it by hand. I've forgotten Mema's careful instructions on how to thread the bobbin.

Everytime I try, I end up with tangled thread. I remember being able to sew on the same machine with absolutely no problems. She was always there when I had any questions or anything. Hell, I don't even know if I'm threading the rest of it right. I know it's been a LONG time since I've used the machine, and Mema always threaded it for me, but she always explained what she was doing and showed me slowly. I know I did it a few time correctly by myself, so why can't I today? I wanted to commit sewing machine murder, seriously. I didn't. I guess I'll wait until I can get in touch with someone who knows how...

But for now, I'm feeling pretty useless. What kind of person owns a sewing machine but isn't sure how to use it? I really wish I could call her and ask.

Speaking of calling, I still have the phone number programmed under 'Mema' on the cell. I can't make myself change it to 'Grandaddy'. I still get urges to call her. I wish she was still here.

Mema, I love you and miss you more than you or anyone else will ever know. As Momma said, I lost two people--a grandmother AND my mother figure. I feel totally lost without you.