But I wasn't able to sleep through everything.
The viewing was Monday night. It was nice that used-to-be friends came. I also saw a lot of family that I hadn't seen in years. Arielle had a good old time playing with her third (or fourth?) cousins Alonso and Alayna and Tory and Zachary. The only bad part (apart from the obvious) was that Arielle asked to be picked up while I was looking at Mema. Why was the first and only time Arielle ever said "Mimi" to her face was right then? Then she also kept saying 'ni-ni' to her.
A.J. didn't like seeing Mema in the casket, so we didn't make him.
Now for my views:
They could have done a better job on her make-up. They had her so light. It wasn't her make-up, but it wasn't natural-looking either. I helped pick out the jewelry she wore. Also, they had to put a 'blankie' over her in the casket bacause they couldn't cover the lesions on her arms. At least it was a teddy bear blankie that she made. And there were lots of flowers and plants. I was able to make a huge bouquet from the cut arrangements. Mostly, people sent plants. Obviously, they knew her.
The service was nice. I must have made the biggest impact on her life by naming her Mema. That's how everyone knew her.
The only things that bothered me were that people that didn't even know her showed up with their Bibles in hand. It wasn't the Bible part itself that bothered me. The Officiator, a Bro. Vernon, did the eulogy. When he finished talkinking about her and her life (all too brief IMO), he started preaching. Almost all you could hear were people turning their Bible pages. It would have been fine, except that by then, I just wanted it to be over. Kind of like a child who's hungry in church on a Sunday morning. But at least it was changed from the tradition Witness funeral since Mema wasn't a witness.
Then, FINALLY it was time to go to the cemetary. I cried from the funeral home to the cemetary. The service there was brief. After it was over, I cried all the way to my grandfather's house.
Yesterday, before we left to go home, My grandaddy wanted us to go to the cemetary. I DID NOT want to go. I shouldn't have. It just made everything so real. Then we drove home.
When I got the dolls (they were mine, but I gave them to Arielle) in the rocking chair in Arielle's room, Arielle pitched a fit. I snatched the dolls up and asked her where they go. She poiunted to her crib. When I put them there, she screamed again. I turned to see why she was screaming, and she was trying to climb into her crib. She was ready to go to bed. This morning, I picked up the phone to call Mema to tell her how Arielle acted. I was just about to finish dialing the number when I remembered: There is no Mema to tell.
I'm dealing the best I can, but I think it's going to be a long, hard road, with no end in sight.
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Amber,
ReplyDeleteThese are the hardest days. It does get easier, though it's hard to imagine at this moment. The good leave us all to early, and the bad, or ones we don't like, seem to hang around forever. I think it was better for Arielle to have acknowledged Mimi then, by name, then not at all. And I still talk to my mother and tell her things, now, and it's been almost 10 years that she's been gone. So, instaed of calling mema on the phone to tell her something, just quietly talk to her when you have a private moment, believe me, she'll hear you. When for no reason at all, thoughts of her pop into your mind, it's probably because she's near you right then. At least, that is what I believe, and it gives me comfort.