But I'm not having a very good day today. I started REALLY cleaning my house because at least one of my cousins is supposed to come for Arielle's birthday tomorrow. I suddenly thought about who wouldn't be here. Namely, Mema. And all the clothes we brought back from the house that were for Arielle were most likely meant to be birthday presents. All of a sudden, I just sat down on the kitchen floor (which hadn't been swept or mopped and needs it every day) and cried.
Is it normal to do this after so many weeks? Tomorrow will be seven weeks.
Alan seems to be over the whole thing already, A.J. doesn't mention it at all, and Arielle has no idea what's going on.
Maybe because they weren't there to watch the whole thing? The long slow downfall, the extreme happiness of seeing her respond after such a long time then the total shock of her dying? Or maybe because even though we prepared A.J. for the sad outcome I was still convinced it would turn out okay?
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Hi Amber, you asked if it's normal to feel this way and I say it sure is. It's only been 7 weeks, you have to get through your 'year of firsts' The first b'day without Mema, the first Xmas without Mema etc. You feel this way because you loved.
ReplyDeleteWe lost a dear friend 17 years ago and it can still reduce me to tears. It might be a song or a smell that triggers a memory.
When my SIL lost her battle with cancer I expected my kids to be sad and upset, which they were for a day or so, then life took over again. It doesn't mean they've forgotten or didn't care. It just means that they are kids.
Keep well Amber, cry when you need to and just go with what you are feeling. It's all normal and all part of loving someone deeply.
Thanks, Brilly. Like I just said, I guess I'm having a pity party.
ReplyDeleteAmber,
ReplyDeleteMy mother passed 10 years ago, and there are still times when something will trigger a memory, and the tears come forth.I agree with Brilly, the first year is the roughest. And it is very normal, at least for females. Guys seem to be affected, and handle things differently. Start writing down your memories of Mema, so as years go on, you can read/tell the kids about her, and how wonderful she was, and how much she loved you and them.
I love you.
Lourese