Stress is my constant companion.

No matter what I do lately, there's stress involved. The kids were sick, at different times of course. Alan caught it from them and spent Tuesday in bed asleep. Arielle's into the Terrible Twos big time. When both kids are home, they're fighting constantly. AND I found Waldo. (Teen-speak for my time of the month.) Almost ran out of diapers yesterday, and Arielle is STILL refusing to even think about using the potty. I cleaned A.J.'s room up last week, my bedroom last wekend, etc. Back to being a mess. And I'm cramping so bad that I can barely bend over. Grrr. On the bright side, both bathrooms are spotless. Laundry is getting done. And My kitchen is staying pretty clean, except for the floor that I haven't mopped yet. I prefer to wait until the time for company is closer.

Of course, I'm not altogether certain that I'm having company. Alan's dad, stepmom, and brother were going to be here on the 17th. Got a call from Cindy (my stepMIL) this morning. Alan'd grandfather died. Alan's not too broken up, because he knew it was coming and had never been close to him. I've only met him twice, and forgive me, but the man creeped me out. A.J. only remembers meeting him once, and Arielle doesn't remember him at all. It seems kind of cold to be wondering if this will change their plans to visit, but I can't help it. Maybe I am cold. But after all, I didn't really know him. I knew he'd been diagnosed with cancer and refused treatment. Some say it's a miracle he made it this long.

So, should I stress about not having company and the reason? Or should I stress about having potentially sad company? Or should I stress about trying to get Alan to go to the funeral? Maybe I'll leave that decision to Alan.

I swear, lately, I"M not happy until I can find something to stress over, and then I can't be really happy while stressed. I'm in a horrible Catch-22 here. Luckily, it should stop in about 3-4 days...